What story are you living? Does it bring you joy or mire you down in the muck of despair? Does it resonate to your higher truth or the constructs and labels which have been thrust upon you from birth?
Here’s the thing: our thoughts, beliefs and identity have served a purpose. They kept us safe and allowed us to identify and feel connected to other people with the same set of beliefs and conditioning. But in the process of personal expansion they also impose limitations.
What if we could move beyond those limiting patterns that are created by social conditioning; the ones that are keeping us stuck and no longer serve?
Don’t think it’s possible?
Are you shaking your head in disbelief thinking, "It’s not that easy to extricate ourselves from patterns, beliefs or negative emotions which hold us hostage."
While it is true that it may not be easy, it is possible.
Join me on a recent adventure, so that I may illustrate two ways of being. The first is blinded by the past and future; oblivious to all the treasures that appear. The second point of view is from the present moment, living in the now and taking joy and meaning in all the gifts presented.
∞ Dawn’s Walk of Past and Future ∞
(My prior self would have thought this way)
Snippets of a dream from the early morning hours of restless sleep rose into my awareness. The lingering strains of “Happy Birthday” being sung to me in my dream state, wafted by.
Fifty one years old! How had time passed so quickly? But it was also slightly depressing to face the many years which loomed ahead.
And then I was infinitely sad, thinking about my son, Noah, and all the things he would be doing if he were alive – he should be busy deciding on courses for university and his last year of high school.
Life was so cruel.
Noting the dancing light streaming in through the window, I decided sunshine might help. Walking down the road, I looked down at the ground, my thoughts whirling in confusion. Maybe I should look for a job now that things had settled down. The problem being, I didn’t want to return to work…but in truth I was bored at home.
Life was a lonely, confusing path.
Sitting down by the water, I turned my face to the sun and felt the warmth. It was so nice in the chilly air. Slowly, the sun receded behind some clouds and my spirits plummeted as I thought, “Of course, just like my life.”
Agitated, I decided to walk a little further down the road. After all, I needed the exercise. I was feeling sluggish from unhealthy eating patterns which had continued from Christmas. Maybe I should invest in a gym membership?
But I didn’t really want to go alone…
Glancing down, I noticed the backside of a playing card lying in the grass next to the sidewalk. Litter…this so annoyed me. The card had likely been lost accidentally, but still, it brought forward a pet peeve of mine.
How hard was it to dispose of garbage properly? Leaning down, I scooped it up and placed it into my pocket.
My walk was almost over and I didn’t feel much better than when I had started off. Feeling as if the universe was laughing at me, enjoying my discomfort, I stepped in a puddle as I was leaving the area by the lake. My sneakers were covered in dirty water. Sigh. When I arrived home, I emptied my pockets and noticed the dirty playing card once more. I threw it into the garbage, grumbling about litter.
∞ Dawn’s Walk from Another Perspective ∞
Looking out the window, I noticed the blue sky and fluffy clouds and felt the urge to go for a walk. The past several weeks had been filled with soul nourishing activities and I was feeling content. I had just completed a Reiki Master training on the weekend.
Life felt open to possibilities...exciting!
Suddenly, some snippets of a dream I had in the early morning hours wafted through. The sound of “Happy Birthday” being sung to me still lingered in my ears. After pondering the meaning, my heart lit up; it felt very much like a celebration, a new beginning with infinite possibilities. My goals seemed a little closer to coming true.
It felt meaningful – a little support from the universe.
And then I was thinking about Noah; a tear settled and I was sad and wishing he was physically by my side. Oh, how I missed my boy. Looking up, I sent a little hug to him and asked him to walk with me today on this bright blue day - my boy in blue.
Grabbing my coat and opening the door, I breathed in deeply. There was nothing like fresh air and sunshine to lighten my spirits.
Sitting down by the water, I turned my face to the sun and felt the warmth permeate me. It was so nice in the chilly air. No sooner did I think this when slowly, the sun receded behind some clouds leaving me in the shade.
Scooping up my phone, I gazed upwards and thought how pretty the clouds were. I was inspired to take a little video. When I reviewed it, I noticed a little green orb was revealed at the end! A little gift from the universe, I thought, my heart filled with gratitude.
After a while, I decided to walk down the road for more exercise. I was feeling a bit sluggish from unhealthy eating patterns which had continued from Christmas. But I had felt this way before, I knew what worked for me – walking and giving up wheat, potato chips and chocolate!
Chuckling to myself, I breathed in the air, clearing my thoughts. Directing my gaze up to the clouds, I was amazed by their purity, their simple beauty. And then I saw him. Noah’s face peeked out from the blue sky and clouds as my heart thumped joyously. Such love and peace filled me for that moment in time. He really was with me. I could feel it in my heart and it felt so powerful and strong. I embraced it all, allowing the exquisitely sweet feeling of being supported and loved wash through me as I continued my walk.
Glancing down, I saw the back of a playing card on the grass by the sidewalk. In curiosity, I scooped it up noticing that it was the nine of clubs. I wondered what symbolism would be attached to nine of clubs? I was eager to look it up.
With an extra bounce in my step, I left the lake area on my way home, only to step into a puddle on the last few feet of the path. Feeling the cold water rush into my shoe, I looked down and was surprised at what I saw.
There beside the puddle was a stick shaped like a wish bone! I laughed in delight and thought, I guess I should make a wish…and I did. Standing with my wet dirty foot in the puddle, I made a wish and thanked my boy for walking with me.
When I returned home, I looked up the symbolism of the nine of clubs and the first thing I read was this:
"The CLUB suit symbolizes the mind, and how we think. ... Those who succumb to mental lethargy or negativity feel powerless to realize their true potential. The 9 of Club is known as the 'Adventurer's Card'. They like to gamble and are always willing to take a chance."~metasymbology.com
"Unbelievable," whispered my heart. With a huge grin on my face, I took another step forward.
One walk - two stories. This second story is my truth. This WAS my walk this morning. And I marveled at the wonders of the universe and the simple magic that co-exists all around us each and every day. And despite the constructs of my story – that of losing my son tragically to cancer – my story is so much more than what happened to me…to us. I CHOOSE to live every single day with Noah by my side in a way that is meaningful to me.
What story are you living? When we commit to unearthing our true story, the one that fills us with joy instead of road blocks and frustration, a transformation occurs. Patterns of the mind are overcome, feelings of anger, fear and frustration are released and the space is created for new ways of being. Ways that are true to our passion and purpose in life.
Please don't think I am minimizing suffering...I am not. Nor am I suggesting we plaster a fake smile on our lips and positive affirmations on our broken hearts. What I am suggesting, is that by feeling our pain, releasing it through challenging inner work and seeing the world from a higher perspective, we can rewrite our story in meaningful ways despite what life throws at us. It's not easy but it is well worth the effort.
How did I end up here? How can I feel this way despite suffering the tragedy of losing my teenage son to cancer? Quite frankly, I have done tons of inner, personal work to arrive in this place and I continue to do so; the work is ongoing. It wasn't easy - in fact it was/is absolutely brutal at times - but I am proof that it is attainable.
Energy healing (Reiki), writing and connecting with the language and guidance of the Divine through symbolism/patterns have all been steps which have facilitated my creating a sacred space and finding the true Dawn who lives inside. And I want you to know that it is possible for you as well.
What are you waiting for: take that first step, rewrite YOUR story and find yourself once more.
Love and light,
Dawn Williams is a Reiki Master in the Usui Shiki Ryoho/Tibetan Reiki Method of Natural Healing. Her work infuses Reiki with the Resonance of Symbolism & Intuitive Story. Open the Portal of Services to discover how to plug in to your own inner magic.
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